Dear People of St. David’s,
I have always been interested in how the church’s time and the culture’s time intersect. For instance, four times a year, the church appoints Ember Days, when we are specifically instructed to pray for all Christians in their vocations and ministries, especially those preparing for ordination. The Ember Days are traditionally observed at the end of each natural season: the Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays after the First Sunday in Lent; the Day of Pentecost; Holy Cross Day (September 14), and December 13. The Ember Days may have taken their name from the fires that were intentionally set to clear fields of the previous season’s harvest and ready it for the next thing nature had to offer.
Spring is ending and the Ember Days were May 27, 29, and 30 and so we pray for all Christians that their lives may produce a good harvest. We also pray for the church, that she may harvest fit persons for ordained ministry. And last weekend, Bill and I travelled to Pleasantville, NY where our daughter, Julia Offinger, is the rector of St. John’s Episcopal Church. Our trip was intentionally timed to coincide with the Pleasantville Pride Festival, of which St. John’s was a sponsor. Every year our culture celebrates a month of Pride in solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community. It was a delight to celebrate Pride with Julia, her wife, and their two children. So, what is the connection between Ember Days and Pride?
Those preparing for ordination never forget the Ember Days, because Canon law is very clear that postulants and candidates for ordination shall communicate with the Bishop in the Ember Weeks, “reflecting on their academic experience and personal and spiritual development.” The bishops are looking for those letters! (See Canons III.6.5(h) and III.8.5(i).) St. David’s has one candidate (Jonesy Lerch) and three postulants (Elliot VanHoy, Ali Stahlwood, and John Oehler) for ordination. I don’t know about those folks, but I do know that somewhere around my fourth or fifth Ember letter, I began to wonder what more I could say that showed any development at all! Well, it’s been over two decades since I wrote my last Ember letter and I like to think that I have made some progress, so here is my Ember letter.
Fifty years ago, The Episcopal Church, meeting in convention, affirmed “that it is the sense of this General Convention that homosexual persons are children of God who have a full and equal claim with all other persons upon the love, acceptance, and pastoral concern and care of the Church.” This was about six years after the first Gay Pride parades were held in Chicago and San Francisco.
Back then, it wouldn’t have occurred to me to participate in a Gay Pride event—I’m not gay. In my teens when this history was happening, I certainly knew gay people, and I had no problem affirming that God loved them. I recall feeling sorry that people were discriminated against because of who they loved. But I didn’t feel connected to the struggle. To be perfectly honest, I was also afraid that I would be negatively judged if I offered support.
In 2010, as a new rector in a small town in Massachusetts, one of my parishioners told me that he was going to march in the Gay Pride parade, as he and his partner did every year. I listened politely, but again, it never occurred to me that I might attend. I was less worried about how I would be judged than I was concerned that my presence might raise a controversy in my congregation. Only a couple of years later, both the United States government and The Episcopal Church approved same-sex weddings, and I was proud to officiate for Jim and John. I was humbled when they decided that instead of their families “giving them away” our entire congregation would present them to receive the sacrament of marriage.
A year or so after that, my daughter told me that she would be participating in “Gay Pride Evensong” at her church, St. Luke in the Fields. New York’s Gay Pride parade ends near the entrance to St. Luke’s and so, every year, they host Evensong with gorgeous music, a wonderful reception, and the participation of at least one bishop! My vacation started after church that day, and I remember hustling down to Manhattan from New England. To be honest, I still didn’t feel very connected to “Gay Pride” but for sure I was proud of my daughter, the postulant for ordination, who was serving as acolyte for her bishop at Evensong. I realized that my fear of the judgment of others had faded into the past. Last year, The Episcopal Church published two Gay Pride videoes: you can watch them by clicking here. The whole thing is great, but at the 24 second mark [in the 30-second version, or at the 48-second mark in the 60-second version], you will see Julia kissing our grandson, while walking with her brother, Will Stroud, and his partner. Talk about pride!
This week here I am, 50 years after The Episcopal Church affirmed that gay people are children of God, and my fingernails are painted in the colors of the Gay Pride flag. My grandsons wore rainbow face paint to church on Sunday, and finally, I can report some “personal and spiritual development.” If you want to read a really good sermon about developing and becoming who God created you to be, here’s a link to Julia’s sermon last Sunday: “Change is good.”
I’m still sorry that there is hate and discrimination, but these days, at long last, I feel connected to the struggle. In my less courageous moments, I still worry about stirring up controversy. But I am grateful for the strong witness of the LGBTQ+ community in and outside the church, and I am proud to be their ally. Any person who is a child of God is a GIFT FROM GOD, and worthy of celebration! A neighborhood festival! A parade! A festive Evensong! Flags and pins and silly fingernails! I thank God for the love and gifts that LGBTQ+ persons offer me, our church, and the world.
Faithfully,
Nancy+
The Rev. Nancy Webb Stroud
Priest Associate
Published on June 4, 2026.
Editor’s Note: This week, The Episcopal Diocese of Pennsylvania shared the following Pride events in which churches are participating. You are welcome to join any or all of them!
June is Pride Month and, across the diocese, churches are celebrating. Here is a look at some of the events:
- 6/6 Delco Pride Parade in Media: Incarnation Holy Sacrament Episcopal Church along with other churches participating. Details.
- 6/7 LGBTQIA+ Interfaith Worship Service, Church of St. Luke & the Epiphany, Phila. Details on Facebook.
- 6/7 Pride March in Philadelphia. The Diocese will have a table at the Pride festival, and we invite you to visit it if you plan to attend the festival. The march begins at 11 a.m. and the festival goes to 7 p.m. This year’s activities are moving to the Parkway.
- 6/13 Pride Festival in Upper Darby: Incarnation Holy Sacrament Episcopal Church, Church of the Holy Comforter and Saturday Night Strategists along with other churches participating. Details.
- 6/14 Pride Evensong at St. Martin-in-the-Fields (Chestnut Hill) Details.
- 6/28 Queer Theology Reading Group, Church of St. Luke & the Epiphany. Sponsored by the diocese’s LGBTQIA+ group.