Pastoral Care Begins with Connection
Dear People of St. David’s,
It has been three years since I joined you as Priest Associate, or as we often say around here, an Elder Statesman. I often get asked about just what that means. Sometimes I preside over services. Sometimes I preach. Sometimes I offer pastoral care. But when I am asked, I usually answer like this: Elder Statesmen are so old. . . and then continue with some story of the way things used to be—at St. David’s, or on the Main Line, or in United States culture. This gives me the happy benefit of getting to teach a little.
I’m so old that I remember “Carnac the Magnificent” played by the late Johnny Carson. Sixty or so years ago, I thought he was the funniest thing I ever watched on television. I really loved his over-the-top turban flowing with white pearls, and the diamond broach he wore in the middle of his costume. Mostly I loved how he held a closed envelope in front of his face and discerned the answer to a question that was sealed inside. I remember watching as a little girl (I am so old that I remember when you had to wait until 11:30 p.m. to watch late-night comedians).
Looking back, I realize that I missed most of the innuendo in Carson’s comedy. Watching the clip linked above, I don’t think his jokes are very funny today. But back then, I was laughing because he was laughing. I was laughing because his side-kick, Ed McMahon, was laughing. And I was laughing because I couldn’t figure out how he knew! How could he possibly know the answers to questions that had been “hermetically sealed in envelopes that until noon that very day had been in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall’s porch?”
Now that you are laughing a little, here’s the teaching: not one person on the pastoral staff at St. David’s is Carnac the Magnificent. First let me tell you who we are, and a little about “pastoral care.” The pastoral staff at St. David’s is made up of priests Rick Morley, Thomas Szczerba, Tanya Regli, Peter Stube, and me. Pastoral Associate Elliot VanHoy joins us in providing pastoral care. This summer, we are joined by parishioner Jonesy Lerch, who is training to become a deacon in The Episcopal Church. We seven are the “professional” pastoral care staff. Pastoral care at St. David’s also extends to many parishioners who are Stephen Ministers, Eucharistic Visitors, St. David’s Friends, drivers, prayer chain members, flower deliverers, and others.
The professional staff meet weekly to discuss the needs and concerns of various parishioners. We share who is in the hospital and would like a visit. Who is shut-in and unable to get to church? Who is facing a life-changing event, such as the birth of a child, divorce, job-loss, or death of a loved one? We strategize about how best to care for each person. Do folks need a visit, a casserole, a phone call? Should one of our lay teams be called in? Our conversation is strictly confidential and quite prayerful.
Pastoral care is the spiritual practice of being a companion to one of God’s beloved. In that way, it is personal and individual. Each of us has been trained to understand that we are not first responders. If you are short of breath, please call 911! However, after the emergency, you might need more care. We are trained in the art of presence. I know I can speak for each member of the Pastoral Staff when I say that we LIKE to provide pastoral care.
We make hospital and home visits because we want to see you. We call because we want to talk to you. We make appointments with you because we want to have relationships with individual parishioners. We offer pastoral care because of our firm conviction that pastoral presence gives us and you a glimpse of the presence of God. In the relationships between God’s created we see an echo of the love of God for each one of us.
But not one of us is Carnac the Magnificent. We do not know that you have a knee replacement scheduled unless you tell us! We don’t know whether you are selling the house you have lived in for 40 years or that your child’s marriage broke up or that the baby has been born or the job has been offered if you keep your pastoral information hermetically sealed in envelopes in a mayonnaise jar! Let’s leave magical discernment to old TV comedians. If you would like to hear from us, please let us know.
Blessings,
Nancy+
The Rev. Nancy Webb Stroud
Priest Associate
Published on July 3, 2025.
Editor’s Note: Learn more about all of St. David’s pastoral care ministries on our website here.